Maha Lame Katha

The side effects of vettiness during vacations...

Frustrations of a non-vegetarian environmentalist....

It’s August 2008, it has been a long 3 years of struggle for me. My friends still call me a pessimist, although I have always seen myself as a realist. The world hasn’t got much better either, in fact things have took a turn for the worst with spiralling oil and food prices, and an economy showing signs of recession. A big relief is the recent news of the Left withdrawing support to the UPA, after 4 ½ years of refusing to release the hand-brake on the govt, it has finally decided to call it a day. Then there is global warming and environmentalism. A subject I’ve had intense introspection for the past few months and a subject I would like to raise here.

Thank God for Al Gore, for if it wasn’t for him and his blockbuster documentary we would be swimming in neck deep water by now. Before I start, I would like to say that this post is not about throwing brickbats at the greens. I would like to say that I respect nature and I do accept the gravity of the problem of global warming. My cynicism at the greens or pseudo-greens (in case you are offended) is the fact that they have lost their way and sense of purpose due to too much emotion and very little Science. They turn to vegetarianism, start wearing t-shirts with MESSAGES written on them, and rubbish all corporate stuff. All good, coz all of it is politically correct. But, I say that turning yourself into a vegetarian isn’t going to help the world in any way. Vegetarianism (Vegans are no separate species of vegetarians, FYI) is the most obvious choice that a neo-environmentalist makes. I would like to tell them that our beautiful planet just doesn’t work like that. One animal dead is another animal’s food. It’s really basic high school Biology. We humans have literally screwed up our thinking, so we feel that by not eating Chicken and Beef, the Tigers in Ranthambore could be saved from poachers.

I wouldn’t advocate that humans should start to eat their dead relatives, but everything in life has to have a balance, especially with food. Instead of turning into Vegetarianism, try to control one’s diet and balance it with required carbohydrates, protein, vitamins and the taboo word for greens FAT (Fat is just as imperative for the body as any other vital nutrition). Environmentalism should be with a purpose and actions should be targeted at a particular end rather than doing it for the sake of doing it. Oh… One more thing…. Vegetarians, please stop Evangelizing. Respect the rights of the others to eat what they want to eat…

Newbies guide to RBI.

There is a white office, an imposing one I should say at Bakery Junction, Thiruvananthapuram. It’s the RBI regional office for Kerala and the Lakshadweep, the building you have been looking for. You notice that the people there wear identity cards which resemble the ones that the IT professionals wear (the plastic identity card hanging from a blue chord is supposed to represent POWER). They walk in everyday with their briefcases and hand bags full of confidential information. Follow them till the main building where you will be asked to show you card. Promptly show your card, if it’s not plastic you might have to stay a bit longer. There is an airport style security which scans every single Rupee or any other foreign currency that you might have. If you happen to bring anything else like a screw driver, or a nut, or a laptop, or a C.D., or a Hard disk to steal the data, or your daughter’s braces accidently then you have to register at the desk. After which you have to undergo an even more rigorous scanning process. By this time, you wish you had brought the nuclear bomb you sold during last week’s garage sale.

Finally after an hour of security guards almost molesting you, you get in. There are notices on the notice board dating back to your childhood, word of the day IPs that you wouldn’t find in any dictionaries. You find that the cubicle is the only respite from terror. You start the computer, and find that the computer is locked, and so is the internet. Nothing works, Orkut is blocked, so is Youtube and it’s the same for most of the other culturally corrupting sites. Yet, when you peek into next guy’s comp. you will get the shock of your lifetime. Relax, the dude is looking at some interesting pictures, smile to him and act as if you hadn’t seen anything. Next wait for the 10:30 coffee, try to count the number of seconds it takes for the coffee to come to your table or guess the colour of the flask in which the coffee arrives. You will be amazed at how fast the time flies in RESERVE BANK OF INDIA. Then it’s another two hours before lunch, try guessing the number of plates that would be kept in a North-East direction, or the number of glasses which are unclean. Then it’s time for lunch. Steal your chicken piece or any non-veg item before it’s stolen by another chap. Avoid drinking water in the glasses unless you want to taste the buttermilk the previous user had. Eat your food in peace and gently exit the place without making any noise. This way you wouldn’t earn the wrath of the people when they are at their worst temper.

Come back to your cubicle and wait for the 2:30 coffee. Calmly proceed with what you are doing, even if it’s sleep. The warm smell of coffee will sure wake you up. Take your time in drinking it, because you wouldn’t have anything else to do for another 2 ½ half hours. Rush to the lobby at around 5:15 before the crowd comes. Here, you might have to pass through the same security rituals that you had done in the morning but this time the security guards are too lazy to check you properly. They let you go in no time. You are out, free from the clutches of the white leviathan. Run for your lives if you are sane, or stay back and admire the office where you now proudly work at.

P.S.: I have nothing against RBI or any other central bank for that matter.

Saarang

Saarang was ok I guess. Didn't try for any volships or any coordships. Gen too lethargic these days. I did go for the Decibels and the Rock Show. The first band at Decibels called the "Slain" sounded really professional but a bit Christian and preachy. The rest of the bands were mediocre and some were well, a real pain to listen to. I did like the band from Mumbai, mostly because they played 2 RATM covers. Lucky Ali, Karthik Show was supposedly good but I didn't go.

Ah, the Rock show.... Well, Firebrands (from Singapore) were really give up (Sucked big time, actually) but they did play a few covers (Pink Floyd, Deep Purple, Linkin Park and RATM). The lead guy turned out to be of a Tamil Orgin and did look kinda scary. The Delhi band Prestorika was far ahead of Firebrands. They played Metallica, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Pantera and a few give-up own-comps. The heavy sound of the guitar was only broken by the voice of the lead guy asking the crowd "Are you having some fucking fun?" Prestorika takes a five year old's perfect hearing and destroys it till becomes like that of your Grandma's (no kidding).

I did design a couple of shields for the Informal guys (with my name on it - self-promotion) and a poster for the Saarang Village. Well, I have to get back to work. There is a lot of work to do, at least I think there is.

First Posting

I am officially a blogger now.I have no idea of what a blog is or how it should to be. This is my first experiment with blogging, so please bear with me if it is not up to your standards. But one thing that I can assure you is that there will be no post modernist or Nietzschean post on this blog. This blog is dedicated to Cars, Planes, Machines (basically anything that has an engine), Global Warming and Snakes. I'll also try to include some vague fundaes from Wikipedia (the ultimate reference site). Like, A can of Mountain Dew has twice the amount of caffine as a can of Pepsi.